There are few archetypes available to young Western men today. Our era has decided to destroy that which a man could look up to and emulate. In part, it is also due to subversion that we have so many heroes that fall in their morals and life. Who is the young HuWhyte Male to look up to as a hero?

You could posit some historical figure. I have seen Uncle Adolf held up as the ideal persona for emulation. For a while (during the Dissident Right’s Ancap phase) it was Pinochet. Personally, I prefer Jorge Videla. The more classically educated would claim that an Odysseus or a Charlemagne could do the trick. Who would deny their power, their sheer Evolian character?

The problem is that all of these are dead. You have no living model for people to emulate.

Clearly there is a need, however, as our addiction to e-celebrities worsens. Alex Jones, Gavin McInnes, Milo, Nick Fuentes, Ben Shapiro, the podcaster caste and more are all presented as participants in the swirl of right-wing drama. No one is arising as a clear leader to sooth the searching soul of the Faustian Man in the midst of his atomized pilgrimage on this earth.

Until now.

To all reading this, I have found the ideal personage who can lead us into the bright new era of power and clarity. I have found one who looks danger in the face without blinking. I have found one who appeals to all of our specific tastes in political doctrine without sacrificing his own integrity. I have found one who can never die, because he has access to powers which we cannot comprehend.

I have found Sonic the Hedgehog.

“SuperLutheran,” you say as his countenance strikes you with extreme awe, “how can this be? What kind of savior is this, that he should look upon our smitten state and take action to Save the West™? I know. I didn’t believe it either until I came into contact with his visage in the theaters this year.

Sonic the Hedgehog is the perfect archetypical hero for the Dissident Right. He has something to offer all of us in these trying times. Before delving into the details, however, do not consider this to be mere joking. At the very least, you should change your social media avatars to Sonic’s image; he is our new mascot ath the least, but the new leader for the brave.

Sonic has Something to Offer All of us: he is the spirit of harmony

Sonic is a Monarchist

If you are a monarchist, well, behold your new king. Divine Right monarchy is instituted with the implicit guarantee of rule, not only in mandate but in effect as well. We wish the king long life and prosperity. Thankfully, Sonic the Hedgehog is a fictional character, and thus is incapable of dying. Should we grant the Mandate of Heaven – his blue fur is the color of the sky, which Chinese monarchists ought to see as the clear sign of his right to be Emperor – we can do so with no doubt that his immortality shall be of great utility, and he didn’t even need to ingest any mercury pills. True, he is a Western figure (point for the Western monarchist), but our Eastern friends need not fear this, as he is pure, and his law-abiding ways will win the day. Speaking of law abiding…

Sonic is also a National Socialist.

Let not your heart be troubled. That little black nose? That’s actually a pencil mustache. Listen, National Socialism is all about following clear hierarchy and the path of nature, while having a nation which seeks the good of the people as one. It also attacks the serpentine enemy of the VVVVVVolk. You’ll notice that Sonic the Hedgehog never harms his own, but casts out the racial enemy of Nature. Those of us who are hip to the JQ will be pleased to see them as symbolized by the eternal enemy, Robotnik, who attempts to make deracialized, atomized populace out of the natives. Harmony with the natural way of politics is necessary, but this hedgehog is also all about making sure there is a goal, a telos which smacks of the Thousand Year Reich Uncle Adolf (likely Sonic’s adoptive grandfather – that’s it, I’m calling it canon) dreamed of. This is why we have the pure Aryan archetype, the dreams of our ancestors made real, in Super Sonic, or the TRV VRYVN HVDGHVG

Sonic is Also a Graph Guy

Yes, yes, “the Industrial Revolution and its Consequences have been a disaster for the human race.” We’ve all heard Uncle Ted say this, but has anyone truly done something about it? We have a hard time actualizing our need to go full Linkola because of the oppressive technological regime around us. Have no fear though. Here is an anti-industrialist you can trust – one with a 35 year track record of destroying robots and freeing both flora and fauna from mechanistic clutches. You can rest assured that with Sonic as our role model, we will have real men of action, who are unaffected by oversocialization, who find no need for feelings of inferiority, and who will do whatever is necessary for the anti-tech revolution. After all, with so little needs, it was easy for Sonic to “collapse now and avoid the rush.” Following his lead, it will be for you too.

Sonic is also an America First Paleocon

What do you call someone who is pro-freedom, anti-degeneracy, and takes the struggle straight to the half-hearted? But is also slandered beyond compare? Don’t answer that question. Just think of Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic would be instrumental in making Charlie Kirk cry his little heart out at whatever speeches he gives – but in response, the establishment has brought in all kinds of disgusting fake porn and fanfiction to give him a bad name. When you think Sonic the Hedgehog, you think of inflation fetishes and DeviantArt precisely because that is what the Globalists want you to think. Why do you think there is such a proliferation of ugly material? It’s because what truly represented America, fighting against a communist leader like the Russian Robotnik, was Sonic the Hedgehog. He is a true nationalist; don’t let the Globalists make you think otherwise.

But speaking of Russia, finally…

Sonic is also friendly to NazBol

Sonic might be anti-industrial, but he’s totally a friend to all tankies. His sidekick is a pilot, mechanic, and clearly a Russian fox (a species, may I remind you, that was first domesticated by the soviets). While he isn’t necessarily a nazbol per se, Sonic is totally down to take a ride on some heavy machinery to destroy the evil capitalist cause.

The Point

Okay, okay, happy April Fool’s day everyone. In all honesty though, it’s good to think on what each of our specific ideologies offers the others. I could be happy in most right-wing systems, because the Big Tent helps me and others see the bright side of various goals being achieved. And we really ought to work together for these goals, because otherwise we won’t go anywhere on our own. And trust me, we gotta get going now rather than later. We gotta go fast.