Corporate America is going all in on woke ideology. Goodyear is the latest to go insane with the obvious stance of Tumblr 2015 is grand while anything opposite or neutral is evil and unacceptable. They want you gone White men at the slightest infraction. Don’t worry Asians and White Hispanics, you are next. The concentration of all business sectors and cartelization means corporate employment is where the money is, so they want to make sure you can not amass independent wealth or coordinate with other upper middle class wrongthinkers to unseat the current professional middle class managers of the leviathan. The problem now is how to navigate this if you choose to remain in a mega-corp.
A change in diversity and inclusion (D&I) training is that the mega-corps do seem to realize that people have caught onto what was meant by diversity when D&I training began. They understand that people can just look for a person to check a box with and call their project diversity. They are now expanding it as well as including segments about understanding context and not jumping on someone who may not know. This is likely to prevent baseless lawsuits. It’s like a yellow light for their future fired minority employees to not just file a discrimination lawsuit when they are terminated. This is a lot of what D&I is, lawsuit prevention work. The other piece to it is giving HR something to do now that LinkedIn has made them useless for hiring. There is also the political commissar element, but that is for the true believer contingent. Most normies just want to move on and keep their paycheck.
A horrible thing that large corporations have done is now include D&I into performance reviews. This is a nebulous section where if you are diverse, you’ll get the nice full good for you for 10% of your review, and if you are not diverse, well you better be good. This is a way to limit your pay raises and also ding you in the event you are an internal applicant for a manager/executive opening. The first year I saw it at a former employer, I joked with my manager that the Indian woman in our department loved me so I must be good for D&I. Four years ago, that was a nice joke with a confused vice president who had no clue how to score that segment. I would not joke like that on a recorded skype call today.
How do you game this? There are multiple paths. Pay attention to your mega-corps engagement or D&I programs. They often have LGBT, minority groups, women groups, veteran groups and youth groups. Each one of these make the explicit statement that they are open to anyone. The stupidity of Tumblr ally designations must be applied here, because after all, the competent people in any firm will be white and white liberals need some way to raise their hand and get the progressive merit badge for their sash come promotion time. Let’s walk through these for ease of faking your D&I commitment.
Veteran’s Groups – This is an easy one. Maybe you are a veteran, so just join it. Even if you did not suffer PTSD, claim you did, never went for help out of feelings of shame and got through it on your own. If not a veteran, everyone knows a veteran of our recent wars. Maybe you lost a friend or had a friend come back and really have a hard time adjusting. This is your story. These groups are nearly 100% white and male because any other group has their own diversity set aside group to join. These guys can be good people to network with as they likely, if enlisted, lean right wing.
Young X of Mega-Corp – This type of group is where they like to put employees on the fast track jobs that feed into management and executive channels. These groups are overwhelmingly White and Asian. These 22-25 year olds just want to have a mentor for advancing in as quick as time as possible. If you are over 35, this is a great way to hit the D&I and do it on a simple age basis. You won’t run into race things as these people still believe there are many executive spots for them to reach by age 30. You may pity them for still believing the corporate landscape of 1995 still exists.
LGBT – We start getting into tougher territory. These will still be very white since the visible minorities will go to their specific tribe organizations. There is an easy story to tell though, and this one takes a little storytelling skill. If like me, you worked in the late ’90s, you know a time when homosexuals would shut up about their personal life, hide that they were gay and were afraid they’d get fired. Gay mafias were tougher to form inside corporations. You can spin this to your advantage that you are joining this because you remember the horrible, wretched days when gays were so oppressed. If you worked in the mid-’90s, you can even bring up AIDS and make up a story that a gay guy at work died of AIDS and no one even knew he was gay and felt ashamed afterwards. Create a fake gay relative who had it hard in the bygone era. This is pretty easy. The harder part is when you’d be dealing with an LGBT if they set you up in a mentor-mentee situation and they discussed their personal life or when June would roll around and you’d be asked to do anything for PRIDE month.
I would not waste time with the other ethnic organizations. Being a white ally is already a problem with blacks, where any false step is an infraction, and they have turned into Humpty Dumpty where yesterday’s good move is today’s evil offense. Frankly, black professionals fall into three categories: solid worker with a family who will stay for a few years and move onto a better paying gig, horrible employee who will be gone within two years, and DMV lady. Any working relationship will be light, and offers more risk than reward. Asians really are white adjacent and will interact like young white professionals with even stronger grinder mindset. You can find them in the young professional orgs that pop up. Better to engage them there than older Asians. Hispanic orgs are so new that I do not have a good take on them.
Until the woke ideology has spun out, we will have to live with this. The system is now making it tougher for you to just go along with your corporate job and not be a part of their rituals. Here is the last piece of advice. Get that director spot, get that manager spot, and make a mockery of D&I performance reviews. Give everyone full marks. Use it like public school teachers use non-math class grades. Elevate everyone on our tribe so that they can edge out the incompetents in the measurements that no one can fudge. Become the ethnic racket enforcer that the left allows minority managers to be.
Just say you’re Jewish.
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LOL. I wonder if they sell fake 23-and-Me’s on the black market.
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R. Hipster takes the W.
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It’s simple, really.
You need the megacorp cash without accepting the megacorp shackles.
Not a joke, this. The employee is, increasingly, a slave. The corporation will never give up the kind of power afforded by quote-unquote woke ideology.
Megacorps buy services. Specifically, people making decisions in megacorps buy services.
And how much authority do HR have over service providers…
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