Submitted by looksmaxxer
The media likes to point out Millenials killing things whether consumer goods or American habits. Covid has also changed things. This should be a perfect mix for changing the poor facets of American weddings. It appears to be happening.
I proposed to my girlfriend this spring. We were on a hike and had been discussing moving in, when it struck me that I could walk in the footsteps of some relatives who cohabitate for years or just do it. Boomers had divorce. Gen X had illegitimate kids. Millenials have the eternal cohabitation. We have all met people who get engaged for 2 years after 2 years of dating to plan the perfect wedding. Covid makes this a ridiculous waste of time since perfect in the American wedding tradition now means a $30,000 show. I proposed at a nice stop on our walk and a kiss and some happy tears from her later, we were engaged.
Marriage and divorce rates are both down. Fewer get married, but they stick together more often. Why would we spend more and more for something fewer bother with and fewer attach significance and meaning to? Heartiste noted the paradox, and it points to the desacralization of the event. If something is sacred and has deep meaning, no glitz or spending matters. In our patrilineal history, man gives his daughter to another man to form a sacred bond and new family. This simple exchange has sacred meaning as the promise of a new family is there in that moment. When stripped of sacred importance, people will try to buy their way to a meaningful event. We do this with everything. It’s the American way!
The chance to revamp weddings thanks to covid is real, but it would force people to take stock of why they are getting married and what it means. No fault divorce and proliferation of illegitimate kids has sullied the eternal imagining of marriage being the forging of the link in the familial chain for begetting the next generation for a family. Many weddings today have a hodge podge of parental pairings if all parents show. I’ve attended tax status change events where a couple together for 7 years finally gets married. I’ve attended a booze filled $100,000 wedding that felt like a business conference dinner. It was a weird affair.
This change might take too deep a review to get to why people date today. Getting married and having kids are now just things that may happen and outside the expectations of the 20 something experience. We all just date for some sex and intermittent companionship. We consume content together. Forget giving wedding advice, we should be honest about the tar pit that is dating.
My girl and I get married at the end of this month. As we looked at a normal $30,000 American wedding approach, we found out halls and vendors couldn’t handle us until 2022. Why wait? Did the reception venue matter, and who would it matter to? This was about starting a life together, not a fancy party. As we decided on a small ceremony in a park, the only pushback we received was from outsiders expecting a big show. We show no stress compared to other couples planning big weddings.
Covid meant no big shows, sports events or concerts. It clamped down on weddings. The masses will be reprogrammed to go out again in big settings, but this window of time offers us a chance to destroy one of the worst pieces of modernity. We have twisted the sacrament of marriage into a consumer event, an experience. It shouldn’t surprise us fewer people understand that sacred bond and that fewer couples honor it. The day meant to glorify it becomes a big party that overtakes the moment of union. Think small and reject it all.
14 Comments Add yours
We are in the midst of a great demoralization that is being intentionally imposed from the top down. Any quirky thing that seems like a fun re-imagining of tradition is indulged. But really those quirks are the demoralization. Meeting someone who had a normal wedding for a normal reason is rare anymore. We are not expected to be the beneficiaries of the future of America. Everything we do hastens the demise of our civilization.
Enjoy being divorce-raped, retard!
Klaus, you have to be happy for our new groom here . odds are that will remain married for life, have a beautiful and fulfilling family , and spend their later years enjoying each others company and their grandkids.
Covid would have been great if not for being a planned demolition. People need to learn to fear death and get by with what they have again, too many people have gone too long without enough pain.
I got married in my aunt and uncle’s backyard with around 50 people in attendance, you’re doing it right. Thankfully my wife had her own desires to reject modernity and didn’t want the stupid “Cinderella experience.” Just makes it all that much more enjoyable and no regret later over costs (“What did we even spend all that for?!?!”)
LikeLiked by 1 person
As eminently admirable as the desire to strip weddings of vain rituals and frippery is, the thrust of the article is completely backward.
The premise that weddings are extravagant and gauche nowadays because they have been stripped of all significance gets both cause and effect wrong.
For one, modern Western weddings aren’t really out there comparatively. Anyone who has even a passing familiarity with the weddings that Indians, Arabs, gypsies, or other backward people conduct is aware of this. If our weddings have become gaudy, it is only in the context of our losing those evil WASP Puritan cultural values of humility and austerity, and specifically the religious outlook which looked at ritualism and totemic thinking as barbaric.
The idea that cultural significance is negatively correlated with how pompous weddings are is obviously confused considering this. And really, the weddings that are in step with the current age are the not coincidentally growing lowkey ones, marking a quiet celebration in what is a minor event in the relationship of a couple that has been cohabiting for the past 3 years, though the ones in an irreverant and especially hedonistic fashion match as well.
The logical end result of both trends is simply no wedding at all, which is the actual norm. The sincere “Cinderella experience” is the one reaching back to an early-mid 20th century aspirational aesthetic, still purporting to be a rite of passage initiating a young woman into adult life, but unsurprisingly that has given way to the other two.
No spilled tears there, but we shouldn’t lose sight of the bigger picture, and some lesbian wedding planner manipulating women into gypping their husbands out of half his savings to that point is only one piece of the puzzle.
Have attended an Indian wedding in Los Angeles, and wew, what a week of partying!
You will live in the pod
You will eat the bugs
You will have a tiny park ceremony wedding
LikeLiked by 1 person
disagree rush , getting married and the possibility of kids pisses Klaus off to no end.
As a good conservative, i must ask: will your wedding feature gay butt sexx? If not you are probably a racist.
The Trve Trad wedding occurs after you bring your girl back to your family and show her off with the rest of the booty from your raiding. Only once she is found free of defects and suitably cowed can you marry her.
Source: the schizophrenic homeless guy who lives under a pile of tree branches by the river.
Congradulations . married for decades myself and Highly recommend it !
LikeLiked by 1 person
Court house for me coming up on 20y. Reception at a relatives hobby farm. Saved a ton of $$$ that was spent on things we needed at the time.
Best wedding I ever went to had hot dogs, hamburgers and beer at a firehouse.
Glad to see weddings being disrupted, I would like to see a study of happy marriages related to small weddings.
Nobody wants to go to big weddings anymore anyway.
LikeLiked by 1 person